I suspect some of the reasons you don’t have an awesome relationship with your money are very similar to the reasons why I didn’t have a healthy relationship with my finances. Simply put, there were things I didn’t know. I didn’t know 30% of my monthly income should go rent. I didn’t know 20% of my income should go to my car (like all in… car note, insurance, gas, maintenance, etc.…). I didn’t realize only 10% of my income should go toward fabulous nights out and lord knows I had no clue that only 10% should be spent on retail therapy (the jury’s still out on this one).
When I looked at money I only thought about what I could buy, not to be confused with what I could afford. This lead to spending habits I developed that look a lot like “retail addiction,” a sexier way of saying I had a spending problem. A lot of women joke about it like, “haha I have a spending problem” or “my money is in my closet.”
When I talk about money as a relationship, I mean it literally. For example, what would happen if you only looked at your husband/spouse/significant other once a month? What would happen if you only spoke to your husband/spouse/significant other when you needed something? That wouldn’t make for a good relationship. The same is true for your finances. If you don’t have a handle on your relationship with money today, you need to check in daily with your money until you get to a good place with your bank account.
The money we think we’re not spending is the money that ends up getting us into the hole…the $5 coffee’s, the $15 eyeliner pencils…things that don’t seem like a big expenditure until you add them up at the end of the month.
Money is the most important relationship in your life because it’s going to support you and the people around you for the duration of your life, possibly longer. You owe it to yourself to start improving that relationship so you can go on to afford things that bring you genuine happiness, like more travel, financial freedom and the Zen of being debt-fee.